Guardiola post deleted after angry reaction to ridiculous ‘huminatarian tirades’ claim

Arsenal qualified for a cup final despite being ‘overtaken’ by Chelsea, while Pep Guardiola wanting people not to die is a ‘humanitarian tirade’.

The blame for a truly rather unremarkable Carabao Cup semi-final second leg is placed on the team who did not need to score at any point to advance.

And the Daily Telegraph’s headline generator has caused quite a stir by being too on-brand.

Press apply

A weird paragraph to get us started The Sunthe match report of the triumphant Emirates:

“Arsenal fans were still chanting their manager’s name as they slipped through, largely thanks to their 3-2 win at Stamford Bridge last month.”

Why does it seem that Charlie Wyett never encountered the concept of a two-legged tie? Of course, they reached the final “largely” thanks to their advantage from the first game. That’s often how it works.

Furthermore, Arsenal literally won both games. They won thanks to two clear goals, after leading the match to a draw in the seventh minute of the first match.

I love it when (half) a plan comes true

There will also be other Wyett manuals on Liam Rosenior later:

“His game plan of staying in the game and then trying to score a goal worked pretty well, but even once he made his changes, Chelsea never really looked like scoring.”

Definitely “worked pretty well” then.

Oh and of course Wyett subscribes to Gary Neville’s school of thought that the game’s relative lack of entertainment value was due to “Arzzzzzzenal”and not the team that started the 90 minutes needing a goal and barely had a few shots on target.

School of reflection

Oliver Holt is much more complimentary of the Gunners who reached the final and continued the quadruple in the Daily Mailbut even he writes that “there was also a creeping suspicion that Arsenal were outmatched” at one point, and that “they seemed disconcerted by Chelsea’s formation change and Chelsea began to make inroads.”

Only a few paragraphs before, Arsenal “faced intense pressure here and they dealt with it without missing a beat”, as Chelsea “could not break down the Arsenal defence”.

But of course they “outplayed” them to a 1-0 defeat in a game they needed to win and Arsenal didn’t.

“Right now, Rosenior has made the changes many have been waiting for. After containing Arsenal, he called in the cavalry,” adds Holt.

If using 60 of the 90 minutes purely to “contain” Arsenal in a game where the Gunners were content to draw but in which Chelsea had to score at least once means Rosenior “outran” Arteta, then sure, the guy is a genius.

This paragraph perfectly sums up the apparent “frustration,” “irritation,” and “agitation” of the hosts that Holt speaks of:

“There were more nervous moments for the home team. Palmer and Fernandez stood at a free kick on the edge of the Arsenal box ten minutes from time. Disputes raged over the location of the wall. Palmer took the kick. He punched Havertz into the wall. Chelsea claimed a penalty. This was not given.

M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t have imagined these nerve-wracking twists and turns. Spare a thought for the Arsenal fans still on that emotional roller coaster of a free kick hitting the wall and let them never sign Cristiano Ronaldo.

LEARN MORE: Arsenal stars fall in England World Cup bonus rankings

Insult to injury

“Spurs sign after deadline after Frank’s team crippled by injuries” – The Sun website.

Has Thomas Frank tapped into the free agent pool? Are Raheem Sterling and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain set to perform in north London again?

“TOTTENHAM has strengthened its medical staff in the midst of this crippling crisis. Liam Horgan, who worked with boss Thomas Frank at Brentford, has been named the club’s first-team rehabilitation physiotherapist.

Oh for fun…

Pep talk

We stay with The Sun website for their coverage of the less important aspect of Pep Guardiola’s latest press conference at Manchester City.

“Grumpy’ Pep criticizes City for not spending more before making their true feelings clear” is the headline, which doesn’t do enough to get those “real feelings” across and, curiously, makes them vague enough to likely lead to furious clicking.

Guardiola literally said his comments about wanting Manchester City to be first rather than seventh in the table. Premier League net spend table were a “joke,” as if such clarification was even necessary. So selling it as a “blast” seems more than a little disingenuous.

What is duck?

Someone is in trouble Daily Telegraph:

This subheadline has since been changed to “Man City manager seemed happy to use his platform to speak out against ICE killings, the war in Gaza…and bad refereeing”, which is at least a little more reflective of the balanced article Ducker actually wrote.

In fairness, considering his employers, Ducker should probably just be grateful that his name wasn’t put next to something painfully transphobic. Or a hit article on the BBC. Or both.

Describing Guardiola’s position that we probably shouldn’t accept people dying as “humanitarian tirades” is a relatively small thing, and perhaps the greatest and most depressing example of Daily Telegraph-based artistic license imaginable.

They actually deleted, retried, and stopped putting words in Ducker’s mouth, publishing an actual excerpt of what he wrote instead of making him sound like complete c***.

But is this anonymous Telegraph caption responsible for the worst version of Guardiola’s moving, passionate and righteous press conference? No, because GB News inexplicably, it still exists, so…

“Save them!” Pep Guardiola weighs in on small boat crisis in extraordinary intervention’

That’s enough Internet for one day.